Recently, I was in the kitchen preparing dinner and that heart-wrenching commercial came on. You know the one. It’s the one that makes you feel as if you are at fault for the pain and suffering of every unloved animal in the world. The ASPCA commercial.
It’s one of the very few things that I cannot watch. Give me violence. Give me foul language. Give me sex. Hell, give me the deaths of people. Just don’t force me to see abused animals. Nothing leaves me sobbing, buried in a pile of Kleenex, the way mistreated doggos and cattos do.
Almost the second the commercial started, my boyfriend changed the channel. I can’t say whether it was for my benefit or his but I was grateful. Once you’ve seen one of those commercials, the images will always be triggered by Sarah McLachlan’s song.
And then I hear: “Are you fucking kidding me? Is this a joke? What a piece of fucking shit!”I look over at him and wait. “Did you know that the CEO of the ASPCA makes over 500 grand a year?”
At first, I didn’t believe him. Not because I thought he was lying but because I didn’t want to believe it. After a few minutes on the interwebs, I was proven wrong. Check it out. https://www.aspca.org/sites/default/files/2014_irs_form_990.pdf
I’m pissed. Fucking irate. Santa better bring those souls I asked for. But, honestly, I’m angrier at myself for still having a shred of hope for this world. Matthew Bershadker, you are a fucking piece of shit.
So I decided to look into the charities that I’m most familiar with, those that I would likely contribute to if I ever come into money.
- United Way. http://www.unitedway.org/ Every since my very first job, every employer has always asked if I’d like to contribute. And I have. With regrets. United Way’s focus is income (with special focus on the CEO’s income), health and education. Their mission statement: United Way improves lives by mobilizing the caring power of communities around the world to advance the common good. How much does CEO Brian A. Gallagher make? In 2015 it was $1,236,611. Check it. https://www.unitedway.org/ceocompensation Brian, you are a fucking piece of shit.
- The Salvation Army. http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/ Everyone has seen the bell ringers every holiday season. Nearly everyone has put their spare change in the bucket. Simply put, The Salvation Army’s focus is on humans, whether it’s hunger, homelessness, or rehabilitation. Their mission statement: The Salvation Army, an international movement, is an evangelical part of the universal Christian
Church. Its message is based on the Bible. Its ministry is motivated by the love of God. Its mission is to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and to meet human needs in His name without discrimination. I’ve been unable to locate David E. Jeffrey’s salary. On the plus side, I haven’t found anything bad about this organization either. According to Forbes, the highest paid employee makes $255,051. Check it out here. http://www.forbes.com/companies/salvation-army/ A tip of the hat to The Salvation Army. You are fucking awesome.
- Ronald McDonald House Charities. http://www.rmhc.org/ I had to have a pretty extensive surgery as a child. I was in the hospital for 10 days. My grandmother and aunt lived more than 4 hours (driving time, duh) away. My mother wouldn’t leave my side but grandma and aunt came to show their support (in case I bit it, I guess) and Ronald McDonald House put them up so that they could be there for my mother and I. That’s a big part of what they do, house you so you can be with sick children. Here’s their vision/mission: Mission & Vision. Thinking globally, acting locally to provide resources for children and their families. Mission: The mission of RMHC is to create, find and support programs that directly improve the health and well-being of children and their families. Vision: A world where all children have access to medical care, and their families are supported and actively involved in their children’s care. So how much is CEO Sheila Musolino being paid? I have no clue. According to this, https://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=4409 she is not compensated. I find that hard to believe. And while I do agree that it really isn’t anyone’s business what a person makes, I feel differently when that person heads up a charity. Some of that money came from me. And YOU! In conclusion? Fuck me.
- Wounded Warrior Project. https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/ If there was ever a charity for people who have earned the right to be the recipients of our good will, this is it. Mission/Vision/Purpose; Mission: To honor and empower wounded warriors. Vision: To foster the most successful, well-adjusted generation of wounded service members in our nation’s history. Purpose:
- To raise awareness and enlist the public’s aid for the needs of injured service members.
- To help injured service members aid and assist each other.
- To provide unique, direct programs and services to meet the needs of injured service members.
How much does CEO Michael S. Linnington make? That information isn’t yet available. Former CEO Steven Nardizzi made about $450,000. You can take a look. https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/media/2576/fy2015-wwp-form-990.pdf Let’s hope that Lieutenant General Linnington is compensated as generously. He’s earned it. A side note, Anthony Odierno, holy shit it was difficult to concentrate once I got a look at him. HOT HOT HOT!!! (call me) Everyone at Wounded Warrior Project, you are fucking awesome!
- This would have been the most personal for me but it seems that I cannot even verify that this charity ever existed. They paid for my surgery when it was rejected by my father’s insurance, my stepmother’s insurance, and my mother’s Medicaid as being considered cosmetic. Though it was far from it. My mother passed away so I can’t call her and ask and my Dad has no clue. I believe the name of the charity that footed the $120,000+ bill that saved my life back in 1987 in Michigan to be Crippled Children’s Association of America or Christian Children’s Association of America. If anyone reads this and knows, please let me know. I’m broke but I can definitely volunteer. I wish that I could remember, however I was on a morphine drip.
- American Red Cross. http://www.redcross.org/ If you don’t know who the Red Cross is or what they do, you should be slapped. Mission/Vision; Mission: The American Red Cross prevents and alleviates human suffering in the face of emergencies by mobilizing the power of volunteers and the generosity of donors. Vision: The American Red Cross, through its strong network of volunteers, donors and partners, is always there in times of need. We aspire to turn compassion into action so that all people affected by disaster across the country and around the world receive care, shelter and hope; our communities are ready and prepared for disasters; everyone in our country has access to safe, lifesaving blood and blood products; all members of our armed services and their families find support and comfort whenever needed; and in an emergency, there are always trained individuals nearby, ready to use their Red Cross skills to save lives.(Guess they intended it to be read while giving blood.) So what’s CEO Gail J. McGovern pocketing? Over $500,000 according to Forbes. http://www.forbes.com/companies/american-national-red-cross/ In this statement from 2012, The Red Cross stood up for her. http://www.redcross.org/news/press-release/Red-Cross-Statement-on-Inaccurate-Viral-Email-on-Charity-CEO-Pay All I can say is Fuck you Gail. Fuck you Red Cross. I BLED for you! I will continue to donate blood but my monetary donations will go elsewhere.
- The Humane Society. http://www.humanesociety.org/ I’m crossing my fingers that this will be much more charitable than the ASPCA turned out to be. Mission statement: Celebrating Animals, Confronting Cruelty. What’s Wayne Pacelle’s salary? $448, 980. http://www.humanesociety.org/assets/pdfs/financials/hsus-irs-form-990-2015.pdf So, about $261 an hour. Bet he loves those 33 hour work weeks. Fuck you, Wayne Pacelle.
- Make-A-Wish Foundation. http://wish.org/ The Make-A-Wish foundation grants wishes to sickly children from 2-18. The average wish, according to the website costs about $10,000. Their Mission statement: We grant the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy. So how many wishes can CEO David Williams afford? More than 55 1/2. He made $557,618 in 2015. Download the pdf here. http://wish.org/about-us/making-a-difference/managing-funds Hey David, you are a fucking piece of shit. Want to inspire a difference? Take $100,000 salary cut and give ten more wishes to those kids.
- St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. https://www.stjude.org/ Does just what the title says, researches and treats childhood cancers, diseases, and illnesses. Mission statement? Best I can tell it’s: St. Jude is leading the way the world understands, treats and defeats childhood cancer and other life-threatening diseases. And CEO James R. Downing, MD? Richard C. Shadyac Jr. President & Chief Executive Officer, ALSAC (the fundraising and awareness part of St. Jude). $1,042,217 and $762,202 respectively. JESUS CHRIST! Not very saintly. https://www.stjude.org/content/dam/en_US/shared/www/about-st-jude/financial-information/990-form-stjude-fy15.pdf Ok, maybe not so much for Dr. Downing. Not only is he president and CEO, he’s also the director of the molecular pathology laboratory. So, dude earns his money. But, fuck you Shadyac!
- Shriners Hospitals for Children. http://www.shrinershospitalsforchildren.org/ Shriners focuses on burn injuries and neuromusculoskeletal conditions. The commercials tell us that these miracles are preformed regardless of a family’s ability to pay. Mission statement: Shriners Hospitals for Children has a mission to:
- Provide the highest quality care to children with neuromusculoskeletal conditions, burn injuries and other special healthcare needs within a compassionate, family-centered and collaborative care environment.
- Provide for the education of physicians and other healthcare professionals.
- Conduct research to discover new knowledge that improves the quality of care and quality of life of children and families.
This mission is carried out without regard to race, color, creed, sex or sect, disability, national origin or ability of a patient or family to pay. John McCabe, let’s find out what you’re being paid. $374,000 according to https://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=6493. Well, Shrine on John!. You’re fucking awesome.
Honestly, I wrote this because I was curious. But, it really did make me see charities and non-profits in a whole new light. It was daunting and did little for the remaining faith in humanity that I have left. In the future, I’m going to stick to complaining and hating on people.
In all seriousness, I will stick to donating to my local animal shelter where my daughter has volunteered for nearly 3 years. https://www.facebook.com/jcasmichigan/ I’ll continue to drop money in the kettles when I hear the bell ringers, I will support the Shriners and Our Warriors.
My advice? Look into where your money is going before you part with it.